The Cultivation of Awareness as a Gateway to Freedom

For as long as I can remember, there has been a peculiar utterance that I could only discern as being in the back of my mind. For most of my childhood and adolescence, it took a backseat, observing all I did. I by no means associated myself with it, but to some degree it was quite comforting. I acted and lived as I did, and at the time; I would not have been able to point to this distant spectator with any amount of certainty. In psychological terms, this was happening at a subconscious and even unconscious level. During this period, I was a kid, living, exploring and walking the paved path that seemed to be all there was. Sure, I had freedom to wander and find passions, such as basketball, which became my primary focus, and yet; even with a seemingly boundless landscape, at least from my narrow perspective, there was still a conventional way of life, that as years passed by, appeared to be enclosing on me. I find the comparison of a chess game to be fitting, that the only moves you can make are those within the rules of the game.

Although, as my awareness heightened and my gut feeling began to tell me otherwise, I realized the chess game was all in my mind, that I only played with these rules if I believed these rules governed my life. Now, this articulation and understanding did not occur as quickly as it sounds, but rather the initial process of the expansion of my intuition and awareness began when; I behaved and made decisions in a manner that facilitated those in positions of authority to judge and voice “their” opinions. I would say that the increasing external pressures and stressors in both strength and volume served as a catalyst for the observer of my mind to now take on an active role in my life. To be blunt, I was not an exemplary student and my efforts towards changing that, for the most part, were subpar. I had academic potential that I had no business fulfilling because the “peculiar utterance” or my conscience had other non-specified plans. It was the repeated unsatisfactory grades, along with the comparing and competing aspect that the schooling system inevitably injected into the majority of students and even their parents that just did not jive well with me. I was being thrown into an ideological framework with the notion that if I did not adhere to it that “success” would be unattainable or highly unlikely and that I could not be properly educated. Now you might be asking why I’m sharing all of this, and my answer would be that if it were not for the cultivation of my awareness, my authentic self and intuition would be latent and unexplored. Granted, I was fortunate to have an ample amount of freedom to gather all these insights and stray away from the crowd in order to develop as a unique individual.

Well then, you might ask, what happens to those who are not able to break free of this mechanistic way of life. The result of this it seems is that, in referring back to the chess game analogy, they would live and develop within the confines of the game, only making permitted moves, with the illusion of freewill. Much of what I observed were those who aimed to excel for the praise and approval of others, obtaining a sense of security; they would work tirelessly for a number or letter on a piece of paper, oblivious to exactly why they did so, but always being led to what was next without pausing to to think if that next step was really theirs. From my viewpoint, it seemed as though, the approaches and the world most saw were simply adopted; susceptible children were being thrown into a predetermined complex structure without a clue of what this all meant to them. This acts as an inhibitor to freely venture and develop a sense of self, all due to the continuous input that is labeled education. With this said, there is no right or wrong course of action; this is neither a moral or ethical matter, but as Carl Jung writes, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

With this in mind, you can no doubt live a comfortable life without thought of the ideas I am expressing, but I ask, is comfort and pleasure all you seek? When you close your eyes and let your imagination run wild, what do you see? If you were to pause for a moment, could you explain why you’re walking in a certain direction in life and does it feel authentic? Who were you before the world fastened in on you, molding you according to the image that society feels suitable. Have you lost touch with your childlike self, the creative you, wandering in awe at this miraculous universe, questioning all and everything with a keen curiosity, eager to explore. It is the very essence of awareness that even allows for this sort of probing and analysis, which can give rise to grand realizations that can lead you to return to a deeper and more connected self. The cultivation of awareness is particularly imperative and valuable to those who have lost that awareness, while consumed and distracted in their busy lives. In fact, this is quite common and many would require a spark to ignite that internal awareness, to possibly breach these patterns. That being said, if given thought, time and true reflection, it should be apparent where you stand in this matter.

As far as my personal life goes, after I graduated high school, I passively decided that I would make my way to college, in spite of the fact that; I was fairly skeptical and uncertain about this process and environment panning out for me. In particular, I was pleased about meeting my advisor, who was also the renowned psychology professor that had spoken at the open house and from which I became increasingly fascinated by. He spoke about death, our awareness of it and the thoughts and behaviors that resulted from this acknowledgement of the inescapable, in either a positive or negative course. We had some engaging conversations, in which I shared ideas from my dubious thoughts about this educational system and the psychological effects I feel it can have on individuals in their developmental years to more fundamental aspects of the nature of our existence. Point being, in my experience, Sheldon Solomon is a distinctive individual and a breath of fresh air. I mention this because when I met with him as the first semester came to a close, I expressed that I would be leaving college to freely explore life in the broader context of our universe with an intent of attaining meaning, while plunging into the question of, “who am I?” He didn’t seem taken aback by this, and was reassured when I made it clear that I would not be sitting around twiddling my thumbs. Ultimately, it was the cultivation of awareness that allowed my intuitive mind to guide me to a decision that may have not appeared to be rational on the surface level but that clicked in the depths of my being.

And so, I cannot understate the value and effect awareness has and will continue to provide as a pillar in my life, while serving as an agent for change in a growth-conscious manner. Continually, by broadening the scope of my outlook, I have expanded my internal terrain, liberating my relative experience to a more unified field. To be direct, I feel freewill is as real as you perceive it, but don’t be deceived, for as Sadhguru says, “Without the necessary awareness, freedom is dangerous.” To conclude, whether dealing with the trivial or in search of a greater understanding, awareness is the light that no matter how small the room, it cannot be seen without the spark that shines from within.