A Step Into Existence

I have come to the awareness that I exist, that I am aware over my own consciousness as well as this ever-present experience. I state this to simply say as Descartes put so eloquently, “I think, therefore I am,” which is fitting to suggest that an individuals awareness of life validates existence in itself. So, I exist, but what is this “I” and is it the “I” that exists or the awareness of it? I would say that the awareness (consciousness) is what exists and the “I” is rather the identity, illusory in some sense.

The identity is better known as the ego or the persona, an image that is attached to the person as a means of interaction and individuating oneself in this world. Alan Watts explained that, “Ego is a social institution with no physical reality. The ego is simply your symbol of yourself.” It is a way for people to “know” you and for you to “know” them. The ego is the central point of consciousness, as Carl Jung would say, in which we experience thoughts and emotions, creating the memory that forms each of us; it is responsible for the five senses of this perception.

Now, the reason for my calling it “illusory” is because our true nature as beings exists without an ego. In moments of true presence, whether that be love, playing a sport or fully doing whatever you are doing, in these times, the world seems to fade away because that “world” is a limited reality. It is in these moments that, we are detached from ego, leaving only the breath of the present and what is happening here and now. These are what Abraham Maslow referred to as “peak-experiences,” where there is only bliss and the purity of the happening. His words were, “Expression and communication in the peak-experiences tend often to become poetic, mythical and rhapsodic, as if this were the natural kind of language to express such states of being.” It seems that the energy in these moments are truer to our nature, with a higher sense of connectedness to being. I believe this is because, in those heightened experiences, there is an expanding of consciousness, in which we are no longer bounded by the ego.

With this in mind, what is experienced in this uninhibited consciousness and where has the life of the ego gone? The ego is always there, just as consciousness is, which means perception is a matter of awareness and what you are concentrated on at each moment. Alan Watts put it simply, “The ego is nothing other than the focus of conscious attention.” This thought is in direct alignment with the “peak-experiences” and moments where there is a shift of attention, whether that be intentionally or not. Given the elevated emotions and feelings of wholeness in this ego-less state, I would postulate that the conscious experience is a greater experience, where limitless possibilities are abundant by nature. Furthermore, there is increased presence, a unification with nature and ultimately a connection to our untouched form as spiritual beings. It is in this realm of consciousness where life is led inside-out, instead of the opposite.

When there is an awareness of consciousness and the role of the ego, life becomes effortless in being and rewarding in seeking; To seek within for greater awareness and understanding with no means to an end, but simply for the exploration of life. The authentic self lies in the awareness beneath the ego, in the depths of being, the soul. Carl Jung remarks, “who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside awakes.” When this process of uncovering the deeper self begins, so does life, as living from within. To accept and live courageously in this manner is to truly step into existence.